shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
