Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
