How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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