You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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