is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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