the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are the jesus of drinking
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
