i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
