Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We have started to decorate penises.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
