Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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