a search helicopter?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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