True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
