I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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