Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
