A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
