my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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