I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
