dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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