Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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