Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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