ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
