he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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