im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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