Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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