well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
