can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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