I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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