arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
