was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
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