I need to stop coming to work sober
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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