I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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