MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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