is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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