I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
