Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
