take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
