so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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