Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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