Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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