I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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