a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
