I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
