Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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