Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
