I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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