I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
