Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
