he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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