thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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