youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
