I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
