like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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