imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
