Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
